Please rewrite one of the passages in your own words so that you are creating a snapshot in the mind of the reader. Use sensory description. Post your writing as a comment.
1. Paul walked into the large, scary room. He stopped; his breath seemed to escape him. He saw the entire scene. It was filled with death and destruction. It was a haunted house, no doubt.
2. The policeman knew trouble was awaiting him. He kicked open the door and burst into the room. He saw a bunch of people waiting behind the door and they were surprised. He arrested all of them.
3. Janie’s room was just the way she had pictured it. When Susie walked into her best friend’s room she saw a lot of neat stuff. It was just like her friend.
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